I received an email from someone in Nigeria yesterday informing me that a long-lost relative had left me a sizeable inheritance. I didn’t even read it before I erased it.

In the grocery store parking lot last week, a man approached me and said he had my favorite brand of perfume for just $20. I quickly entered the store while without turning around as I held my purse.

I recently watched an ad for a ground-breaking device that promised to help me lose sixty pounds in the first three months while allowing me to consume as many chips as I pleased. I walked to the kitchen to get a bag of chips and changed the station.

All three of these reflected things that I greatly desire. Each of the three clearly outlined their advantages and qualities. But I remained uninterested. Why?

I had no faith in them.

You are in the business of persuading someone to believe, act, or feel a specific way, whether you are trying to sell a product, persuade an employee to change, or are making a speech to educate financial principles. No matter what you say, if people don’t believe you, they won’t buy it.

No one is interested in more information. For goodness sake, we are OVERFILLED with knowledge. People want to believe that YOU are the reliable source of this knowledge. This is why I decided not to conduct an online search when I recently needed a printer. Who do you recommend? I asked a friend whose opinion I trusted. By the end of the day, I had placed my order after he offered me a name. I didn’t even bother to look into what the business did. I had faith in my source.

The phase I see most missed is building trust with whoever it is you are trying to persuade. Speakers imply that we simply believe all they say. Companies presume that we believe what they say. Salespeople presume that we think they are looking out for our interests.

Does your audience believe you?
What are you doing to win people over?
Where data cannot, story may establish trust.
I was participating in an online video meeting with two Hungarian strangers. We went there to talk about a brand merger and cooperation. They had a great idea, but I didn’t trust them because they were strangers. I had received a message from them online. The only reason I agreed to a meeting with them was because I had run into one of them at one of my events. There is no way I would have cared to listen to what they had to say if there had been no context. Every week, I trash hundreds of emails from strangers who have insightful suggestions for me.

One of the males answered the phone late and apologized right away for arriving in a running suit. He clarified that although though he always dresses in a suit for meetings, he had to pick up his kids from school and take them to the park right after this conversation. As I’m listening to him, a mental image of him pushing his kids on swings in a park is taking shape in my head. My guard came down, and my heart warmed. After entering his life tale, I felt more at ease and ready to talk. He had children. just like me. Just enough of a common ground existed for actual communication to begin.

When you identify and communicate a point of agreement with your audience, trust is created. The secret of influence is connection. Human connection is the ability to relate to one another via shared emotions and experiences.

How do you interact with your customer?

How do you connect with the product you’re selling?

What connection does what you’re selling have with the buyer?

For greatest influence, ask these three questions in order to connect and engage.

Examine the phrase “Relate” closely; it adds a personal touch to the dialogue between you and your customer.

No matter how well you understand your product and what it can accomplish for your customer, if they don’t trust you, it won’t matter. Are you the one attempting to sell the cheap perfume in the parking lot?
Before you start your next team meeting, speech, sales presentation, or other persuasion-based activity, consider how you may first establish trust by identifying common ground and how to explain to them how this applies to both of you.

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